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The Squeaky Pantry Door: Revising a Personal Narrative

Revise and edit a student's narrative about fixing a squeaky door with Grandpa, using notes from a classmate, a grandparent and a teacher.

Grade 5ELAInteractive · Printable

Aligned toW.5.5

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What’s included

Single worksheet
Auto-graded online
1 Common Core standard
Printable answer key
10 questions
Classroom-ready

Details

Format: Interactive · Printable
Grade: Grade 5
Subject: ELA
Question types: Fill in the blank, Multiple choice, Matching, Circle the answer, Sorting, Short answer

About this worksheet

What students practice

Students use peer and adult feedback to fix the order of events in a narrative.
Students replace vague sentences with precise, descriptive details.
Students edit irregular past-tense verbs and rewrite a beginning and an ending.

How to use

Read the draft and the notes aloud, then talk about which notes praise the writer and which ask for changes. Students answer on their own and read their new sentences to a partner.

Curriculum

Common Core standard covered

W.5.5

With peer and adult help, strengthen writing by planning, revising, editing, rewriting, or trying a new approach.

Preview

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Name Date

The Squeaky Pantry Door: Revising a Personal Narrative

Use feedback to fix the order, add details and edit a story about a home repair.

Read the draft and the feedback

Marisol wrote a true story about helping her grandpa. Read her first draft and the notes people wrote to help her.

The Squeaky Door (First Draft)

1One day I helped my grandpa fix a door. It was a good day.

2Our pantry door squeaked every time anyone opened it. It squeaked so loudly that it woke up my baby cousin, Nico, during his nap. He cried for a long time, and Aunt Rosa had to walk him up and down the hall and rock him back to sleep. Grandpa Tomás frowned at the door and said, "Let's fix that squeak today."

3First, Grandpa bringed a small can of oil from the garage. Then he opened and closed the door, and it did not squeak at all. He put three drops of oil on the top hinge and three drops on the bottom hinge. He wiped away the extra oil with an old rag.

4Grandpa let me move the door back and forth to work the oil into the hinges. It felt good. When we were done, the door swinged open without a sound. Grandpa showed me where he keeps the oil so I can find it next time.

5Nico took a long nap that afternoon, and nobody woke him up. Grandpa winked at me and said, "Now you know how to fix a squeak." The end.

Notes for Marisol

Luis (classmate): I liked the part about Nico waking up, because I have a baby sister too. In paragraph 3, one sentence happens too early. It should come after Grandpa wipes the hinges.

Grandpa Tomás: I am proud that you remembered the three drops of oil! Your first paragraph does not tell much, though. Could you start with the loud squeak instead, so readers hear it right away?

Mr. Patel (teacher): Your dialogue sounds like a real person talking. Try replacing vague words such as "good" with details that show how you felt. Also check your past-tense verbs, and give your story a stronger ending.

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