Worksheet

Revise and Edit: Dev's Skateboard Story

Grade 5 revising and editing: use a partner's and a teacher's notes to improve a skateboard story's beginning, details, ending, and spelling.

Grade 5ELAInteractive · Printable

Aligned toW.5.5

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What’s included

Single worksheet
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1 Common Core standard
Printable answer key
10 questions
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Details

Format: Interactive · Printable
Grade: Grade 5
Subject: ELA
Question types: Fill in the blank, Multiple choice, Circle the answer, Sorting, Short answer

About this worksheet

What students practice

Students use peer and teacher feedback to choose revisions that strengthen a draft.
Students tell the difference between revising ideas and editing spelling and punctuation.
Students rewrite sentences to show feelings with details and to try a new approach.

How to use

Read Dev's draft and the conference notes aloud, and talk about how revising is different from editing. Students answer questions 1 to 8 on their own, then rewrite parts of the draft in questions 9 and 10.

Curriculum

Common Core standard covered

W.5.5

With peer and adult help, strengthen writing by planning, revising, editing, rewriting, or trying a new approach.

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Name Date

Revise and Edit: Dev's Skateboard Story

Use notes from a writing partner and a teacher to make a draft stronger.

Read the draft and the notes

Dev is writing a true story about learning to ride a skateboard. He shared his first draft with his writing partner, Hana, and his teacher, Mr. Abernathy. Read Dev's draft and the notes they gave him.

My Skateboard Story (first draft)

1This story is about the day I learned to ride a skateboard. It happened last summer at Cedar Park, near my apartment. I had wanted to learn ever since I saw some older kids rolling past my building. My aunt Rosa came with me because she skated all the time when she was a kid. She even brought her old skateboard, which had stickers all over the bottom. We got there right after lunch on a sunny Saturday.

2First we put on our gear. I wore a helmet, knee pads, and elbow pads. Aunt Rosa checked that my helmet strap was snug under my chin. Then she showed me how to stand with one foot near the front of the board and the other foot near the back. She told me to bend my knees a little so I would keep my balance. I was scared. The path in front of me looked very long.

3Then I tried to push off with my back foot. The board shot forward without me, and I landed on my bottom in the grass. My face felt hot becuase some kids on a bench were watching. Aunt Rosa laughed, but not in a mean way. She said everybody falls at first. I got back on the board right away.

4I practiced for the rest of the afternoon. It was hard. At first Aunt Rosa held my hand, and later she just walked beside me. Sometimes I rolled a few feet and then had to jump off. At last, I rolled all the way to the big oak tree at the end of the path without stepping off. Aunt Rosa clapped and cheered so loudly that a dog started barking.

5Now I can ride my skateboard by myself, and I take it to the park almost every weekend. That was a fun day. The end.

Notes from Dev's Writing Conference

Hana: Your first sentence only tells the topic. Try starting with an exciting action or a sound that pulls the reader right into the park.

Hana: In paragraphs 2 and 4, short sentences like "I was scared" and "It was hard" tell the reader instead of showing. Can you use details to show what it was like instead?

Mr. Abernathy: Your ending just says "The end." Try ending with what you learned or how you felt as the day ended.

Mr. Abernathy: Here is a new approach to try. Start your story at the moment you fall, and then go back and explain how the day began.

Mr. Abernathy: Before you write your final copy, check your spelling. There is one misspelled word in paragraph 3.

Revise the draft

Use Dev's draft and the notes to answer questions 1 to 5.

Which new first sentence follows Hana's note about the beginning?

A. This is a story about me and my aunt at the park last summer.
B. In this story, I will tell you how I learned to ride a skateboard.
C. Thump! I landed hard in the grass as my skateboard rolled away.
D. Skateboards have four wheels, a flat board, and two metal trucks.

Revising changes the ideas, details, or order of a piece of writing. Editing fixes spelling, capital letters, and punctuation. Sort each change that Dev could make.

adding a sentence about the sound the wheels madefixing the spelling of a wordadding a capital letter at the start of a sentencemoving the fall to the beginning of the storywriting a new ending that tells what Dev learnedputting a period at the end of a sentence

Revising	Editing

Hana says that "I was scared" in paragraph 2 tells a feeling instead of showing it. Which sentence best shows that Dev was scared?

A. My knees wobbled, and I gripped Aunt Rosa's arm with both hands.
B. I was really, really scared, more scared than I have ever been.
C. Being scared is a feeling that many people have at times.
D. I felt scared, and I told my aunt that I was very scared.

Which new ending follows Mr. Abernathy's note about the ending?

A. That was the whole story of my day at Cedar Park with my aunt.
B. Next time, I will tell you about the day I went to the lake.
C. The end, and thank you very much for reading all of my story.
D. As we walked home, I knew that falling was part of learning.

Dev wants to try Mr. Abernathy's new approach. Which paragraph of his draft should he move to the very beginning of the story?

A. Paragraph 2
B. Paragraph 3
C. Paragraph 4
D. Paragraph 5

Edit and rewrite

Answer questions 6 to 8. Then rewrite parts of Dev's draft in questions 9 and 10.

Mr. Abernathy found one misspelled word in paragraph 3. Underline the sentence that has the misspelled word.

Then I tried to push off with my back foot.The board shot forward without me, and I landed on my bottom in the grass.My face felt hot becuase some kids on a bench were watching.Aunt Rosa laughed, but not in a mean way.She said everybody falls at first.I got back on the board right away.

Write the misspelled word from the sentence you underlined in question 6, spelled correctly.

Correct spelling:

Dev decides to turn this sentence from paragraph 3 into dialogue: "She said everybody falls at first." Which revision is punctuated correctly?

A. Everybody falls at first, Aunt Rosa said.
B. "Everybody falls at first," Aunt Rosa said.
C. "Everybody falls at first, Aunt Rosa said."
D. "Everybody falls at first." Aunt Rosa said.

Follow Hana's second note. Rewrite the sentence "It was hard." from paragraph 4 so that it shows how hard practicing was.

10.

Which note from the writing conference do you think would help Dev's story the most? Name the note, explain why it would help, and write one revised sentence that follows it.