Camping Diary: Who Does That Mean?

Sunday Evening: Before I Forget

1Our camping weekend ended this afternoon, and I, Dalia, am writing before the details blur together. My brother, Farid, and my cousin, Tomas, shared the larger tent beside mine. In Friday’s hurried notes, I wrote, “Farid handed Tomas the mallet after he finished unpacking.” Both of them had unpacked supplies, so a reader could not tell which person I meant.

2I remember the moment clearly now: Farid finished unpacking and then passed the mallet to Tomas. The sentence needs Farid’s name, even if repeating a name sounds less elegant. My diary is supposed to preserve what happened, not leave next month’s version of me guessing. I drew a box around the sentence to remind myself to repair it.

3Saturday’s breakfast produced another confusing note: “The pan rested beside the stove until it cooled.” I meant that the pan cooled before I washed it; the stove was already cool. The breakfast itself was easier to understand than my description. We ate oatmeal from mugs because I had packed the bowls underneath our sleeping bags.

4Later, I wrote, “At the campground, they said quiet hours began at ten.” Actually, I had read the rule on a notice beside the water station. No one had announced it to us. Giving the notice credit would make the entry more accurate and remove a mysterious group of people from the weekend.

5Not every pronoun needs replacing. “I rolled my sleeping bag and strapped it shut” makes sense because only the sleeping bag can be rolled and strapped shut in that sentence. Before packing my notebook, I circled the rough lines that needed work. I want to remember the weekend’s small disasters without creating new ones on the page.