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Night of the Horseshoe Crabs: Concrete Words and Sensory Details

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Night of the Horseshoe Crabs: Concrete Words and Sensory Details

Choose exact words and sensory details that let a reader live the moment.

Read the story

Read Amara's story about a night on the bay shore with her grandpa.

Night of the Horseshoe Crabs

1The tide was rising when Grandpa and I reached the bay. It was a warm night in late May, and the air smelled of salt and seaweed. Tiny waves slapped against the sand with a soft, steady plap, plap, plap.

2Grandpa clicked on his flashlight. In the circle of yellow light, I saw something that looked like an upside-down mixing bowl sliding out of the water. Then I saw another, and another. Dozens of horseshoe crabs were crawling up the wet sand.

3"They come ashore on spring nights to lay their eggs," Grandpa explained. "Horseshoe crabs were around long before the dinosaurs."

4I knelt to look closer. The nearest crab's shell was the color of a wet paper bag, smooth and shiny, with a long, pointed tail dragging behind it. Its legs made faint scratching sounds as it pushed through the sand. A smaller crab clung to the back of its shell like a backpack.

5Farther down the shore, a crab lay on its back. Its legs waved slowly in the air, and its tail poked at the sand, but it could not turn over. "Can I help it?" I asked. Grandpa showed me how. I held the edge of the shell with my fingertips, never the tail, and gently tipped it right side up. The shell felt cool and hard, like a plastic lid, and gritty sand stuck to my fingers. The crab paused for a moment. Then it crept toward the water.

6We walked slowly along the shore and counted every crab we passed. Grandpa wrote the numbers in his notebook for the scientists who study the bay. By midnight, my sneakers were soaked and my knees were caked with sand. A cool breeze raised goose bumps on my arms, and I yawned so wide that my jaw cracked.

7As we walked back to the car, I could still hear the waves whispering behind us. I could still feel that gritty sand under my fingernails, too.

Words that paint a picture

Answer the questions about the words Amara chose.

1.
In paragraph 2, Amara says a crab "looked like an upside-down mixing bowl." Why does she use this comparison?
Question 1 options
2.
Sort the phrases. Does each phrase give the reader a precise picture, or is it vague?
3.
Match each detail from the story to the sense it appeals to.
4.
Read paragraph 6 again. Underline the sentence that uses a concrete detail to show how tired and chilly Amara felt.

Revise Amara's notes

On the night of the crab count, Amara jotted these quick notes. Read them, then answer the questions.

Amara's notes: The crab was on its back. It looked bad. I helped it. It felt weird.
5.
Which revision of "It looked bad." shows the crab's trouble most precisely?
Question 5 options
6.
Which revision of "It felt weird." uses the most precise sensory detail?
Question 6 options
7.
Amara added more details to her notes. Write the word from the word bank that best completes each sentence. Two words are not used.

Grandpa's flashlight in the dark like a small yellow moon.
A gull loudly from the top of a wooden post.
The sand was so that it scraped the skin on my knees.

8.
Rewrite all four of Amara's notes as a short paragraph. Use concrete words and at least three sensory details.
9.
Describe an animal you have watched closely. Use details for two different senses and one comparison that uses "like" or "as."