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Paddles Up! Revising a Dragon Boat Story

Grade 5 sentence revision: join choppy sentences, cut wordy ones, and add details while revising a student's dragon boat race story.

Grade 5ELAInteractive · Printable

Aligned toL.5.3.a

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What’s included

Single worksheet
Auto-graded online
1 Common Core standard
Printable answer key
12 questions
Classroom-ready

Details

Format: Interactive · Printable
Grade: Grade 5
Subject: ELA
Question types: Fill in the blank, Multiple choice, Circle the answer, Sorting, Short answer

About this worksheet

What students practice

Students revise a story draft by joining choppy sentences and spotting run-on sentences.
Students reduce wordy sentences by cutting repeated ideas and empty phrases.
Students expand short sentences with details that help a reader picture events.

How to use

Read Mei's draft aloud first and talk about which sentences sound choppy or wordy. Students then revise on their own and share their rewritten sentences with a partner.

Curriculum

Common Core standard covered

L.5.3.a

Expand, combine, and reduce sentences for meaning, reader interest, and style.

Preview

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Name Date

Paddles Up! Revising a Dragon Boat Story

Help Mei join choppy sentences, cut extra words, and add details.

Read Mei's draft

Mei wrote this first draft about her first dragon boat race. Some sentences are short and choppy, and some use more words than they need. Read the draft, then help Mei revise it.

My First Dragon Boat Race (Mei's Draft)

1Saturday was the day of the dragon boat race. The race was on Lake Linden. My team was called the Golden Scales. There were twenty paddlers on our boat. I was one of them. Our boat was long and narrow, with a carved dragon head at the front and a curly dragon tail at the back. Gold scales were painted along its sides, and that is how our team got its name.

2Our drummer was named Rosa. She sat at the front of the boat. She faced the paddlers. She beat a big drum. Each drumbeat told us when to pull our paddles through the water. Our steerer was Mr. Okafor, and he stood at the very back of the long boat and held a wooden oar to steer the boat in the direction he wanted it to go.

3At the start line, I was nervous and scared and afraid. My hands were shaking on my paddle. Due to the fact that I had never raced before, I kept thinking about falling into the lake. Coach Dana leaned over from the dock. "Just watch the paddle in front of you and match it," she said. I took a deep breath and nodded.

4A horn blew. We dug our paddles into the lake. Water splashed. Rosa pounded the drum faster and faster, and we pulled harder with every beat. At one point in time, the boat next to us pulled ahead. My arms burned, but I kept my eyes on the paddle in front of me, just like Coach Dana said.

5We crossed the finish line in second place. I was tired. I was proud. When we got back to the dock, our families cheered loudly and made a lot of noise. Rosa gave me a high five. Next year I want to race again, and I want to sit closer to the drum.

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