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Peer Feedback: Revising a Crayfish Report

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Peer Feedback: Revising a Crayfish Report

Use a partner's comments to revise and edit a first draft.

Read Omar's first draft

Omar wrote a first draft of a report. His partner Jada read it and wrote comments. Read the draft. It has some mistakes that Omar will fix.

Omar's First Draft: Crayfish in Miller Creek

1Crayfish are really cool. They live in Miller Creek, the small stream that runs behind our school. Last week, our class put on rubber boots and walked into the shallow water with our teacher to look for them. Our teacher showed us how to lift a rock slowly so the mud would not cloud the water. I wanted to learn what these little animals do all day.

2Crayfish are related to lobsters, and they look like tiny lobsters too. They have a hard outer shell and two big claws. A crayfish uses its claws to grab food and to defend itself. My uncle has a pet turtle named Pickles. When a crayfish grows, it sheds its old shell, and a new, bigger shell hardens in its place.

3During the day, many crayfish hide under rocks or in mud holes along the bank. At night, they come out to look for food. Crayfish eat lots of stuff. Eating dead plants and animals helps keep the creek clean.

4Crayfish walk forward slowly on their legs. They can move fast. If a crayfish is in danger, it flips its tail hard and shoots backward through the water. It moves so quickly that it is hard to catch. Then it hides again under a rock or a pile of leaves.

5We found six crayfish under the flat rocks near the old wooden bridge. Each one was about as long as my finger. Jada held one in a net, and it snapped it's claws at her. we let every crayfish go becuase the creek is there home.

Revise the ideas

Revising means changing ideas, words and order to make writing clearer. Use Jada's comments to help Omar revise.

1.
Jada wrote: "One sentence in paragraph 2 is not about crayfish." Underline that sentence.

2.
Jada wrote: "Your first sentence does not tell me what your report is about." Which new first sentence answers her comment best?
Question 2 options
3.
In paragraph 3, Omar wrote, "Crayfish eat lots of stuff." Jada asked, "What stuff?" Which revision answers her question best?
Question 3 options
4.
Jada wrote: "In paragraph 4, add a linking word to the start of 'They can move fast.'" Which linking word fits best?
Question 4 options
5.
Omar's draft has no ending. Which sentence would make the best concluding sentence for his report?
Question 5 options

Edit and give feedback

Editing means fixing spelling, capital letters and punctuation. Help Omar edit, then give your own feedback.

6.
Sort Jada's comments. Does each one ask Omar to revise or to edit?
7.
Edit the end of paragraph 5. Fix the four words it's, we, becuase and there. Write each word correctly in the blank where it belongs.

Jada held one in a net, and it snapped claws at her. let every crayfish go the creek is home.

8.
Omar meets with Jada to talk about his draft. Which question would help him most to make his report stronger?
Question 8 options
9.
Write a comment you could give Omar about paragraph 3. Tell one thing that works well and one thing he could add or change.