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Stuck at the Top: Dialogue, Description, and Pacing

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Stuck at the Top: Dialogue, Description, and Pacing

See how a writer uses narrative techniques to show how characters respond.

Read the story

Read this story about a girl's first Ferris wheel ride. Notice how the writer uses dialogue, description, and pacing.

The View from the Top

1The Ferris wheel at the Clearwater County Fair was taller than any building in Amara's town. She had watched it turn every summer since she was little, but she had never ridden it. This year, Grandpa Teo bought two tickets and held one out to her. "Only if you want to," he said.

2The air smelled like popcorn and sweet kettle corn, and colored lights flashed on every ride. As the line crept forward, Amara's knees bounced. She tried to count the swinging cars above her, but she lost track each time the wheel turned.

3When their turn came, a worker lowered the safety bar across their laps. The car swayed as the wheel lifted them up, past the treetops and past the roof of the goat barn. Then, with a loud clunk, the wheel stopped. Their car hung at the very top.

4The car rocked. Amara gasped. She squeezed the safety bar so hard that her knuckles turned pale. A gust of wind tugged at her ponytail, and far below, the people looked as small as ants. She shut her eyes. One second passed. Then two. Then three.

5Grandpa leaned back as if he were sitting in his favorite armchair. "They stop the wheel so new riders can climb on," he explained in a slow, gentle voice. "It happens every few minutes. Try opening your eyes for just a moment. I think you'll like what you see."

6Amara opened one eye, then the other. The whole fair spread out beneath her like a glowing quilt. Beyond it, the lights of town twinkled, and the lake shimmered in the moonlight. "Grandpa," she whispered, "I can see our street!"

7The rest of the evening flew by. They shared a bag of kettle corn, watched the goat show, and played a ring-toss game. Amara won a tiny stuffed frog.

8As they walked toward the parking lot, Amara stopped and looked back at the Ferris wheel. Then she grabbed Grandpa's hand and tugged him toward the ticket booth. "One more ride," she said. "This time, I want to keep my eyes open the whole way."

How the writer tells the story

Use the story to answer questions 1 to 7.

1.
Match each part of the story to the narrative technique the writer uses there.
2.
Read paragraph 4 again. Underline the three sentences that tell what Amara does when the car stops at the top.

3.
Why does the writer use so many short sentences in paragraph 4?
Question 3 options
4.
Paragraph 7 tells about the rest of the evening in only three sentences. Why does the writer speed up here?
Question 4 options
5.
Read paragraph 5 again. What do Grandpa's words and actions show about how he responds when the wheel stops?
Question 5 options
6.
A writer can tell a feeling by naming it, or show it with actions and details. Sort each sentence.
7.
A classmate wrote this sentence:
"Amara was nervous in line."
Which revision best shows that Amara is nervous without naming the feeling?
Question 7 options

Use the techniques

Write your answers in complete sentences.

8.
This sentence tells a feeling: "Grandpa was proud of Amara." Rewrite it in 2 or 3 sentences that show Grandpa's pride with dialogue and description instead.
9.
Imagine Amara's second ride. Write 3 or 4 sentences about the moment the car stops at the top again. Use at least one line of dialogue and one detail that shows how Amara responds this time.