A Weekend Between the Lines

Edit a camping diary for clear parenthetical details.

Read the Diary

Extra information can be set off with commas, parentheses, or dashes. A detail needed to identify a particular person or thing is not set off.

Sunday Evening: What I Brought Home

1Friday afternoon, I packed my notebook beneath my sleeping bag. I expected our camping weekend to produce a few funny diary pages, mostly about my cousin Rafi trying to fold a tent. Aunt Selin, our most experienced camper, checked the equipment while I pictured a perfectly organized trip. I had even drawn little boxes beside each activity on my schedule.

2At the campsite, we divided the jobs before unpacking. Rafi carried the tent poles to a level patch of ground. Our tent (borrowed from a neighbor) had room for all three of us. I spread the groundsheet beside the equipment bags. Once the tent stood upright, I checked the first box on my schedule with a flourish.

3Saturday refused to fit inside my boxes. Our planned walk—my choice for the morning—took longer than expected because I kept stopping to sketch unfamiliar leaves. Rafi waited without pointing at his watch. Later, he wanted to sit beside the creek and listen to the water. I almost reminded him that we were supposed to practice knots, but I closed my notebook instead.

4After dinner, Aunt Selin asked what we wanted to do next. I opened my mouth to read the schedule, then noticed that Rafi had arranged three folding chairs where we could see the evening sky. My notebook, now smudged with dirt, stayed in my pocket. We sat until the first stars appeared, trading guesses about the sounds beyond our campsite.

5This morning, I found several empty boxes on my schedule. Beside them, I wrote about a crooked leaf sketch, a creek that sounded different with my eyes closed, and a conversation I had not planned. Rafi folded the tent while I held the bag open. He needed two attempts, but I did not count either one as wasted time.

Which statement accurately describes the use of parentheses in paragraph 2?

A. They enclose background information about the tent's source.
B. They supply a detail needed to identify one of several tents.
C. They separate two complete sentences about different jobs.
D. They mark the narrator's exact words to the other campers.

Underline the sentence from paragraph 2 that demonstrates the use described in question 1.

At the campsite, we divided the jobs before unpacking.Rafi carried the tent poles to a level patch of ground.Our tent (borrowed from a neighbor) had room for all three of us.I spread the groundsheet beside the equipment bags.

In paragraph 1, why are commas placed around “our most experienced camper”?

A. The phrase states a separate action that occurs before the checking.
B. The phrase identifies which of several people named Selin is meant.
C. The phrase introduces the exact words that Aunt Selin speaks.
D. The phrase adds a description of Aunt Selin, who is already named.

In paragraph 3, remove “—my choice for the morning—” from the sentence beginning “Our planned walk.” Which sentence remains?

A. Our planned walk took longer than expected my choice because I kept stopping to sketch unfamiliar leaves.
B. My choice for the morning took longer than expected because I kept stopping to sketch unfamiliar leaves.
C. Our planned walk took longer than expected because I kept stopping to sketch unfamiliar leaves.
D. Our planned walk my choice took longer than expected because I kept stopping to sketch unfamiliar leaves.

Edit Additional Diary Notes

These draft notes describe the same weekend. Preserve each sentence's meaning while setting off extra information correctly.

The narrator has one camping notebook. Which revision correctly uses commas to set off its extra description?

A. My notebook which, had a green cover, stayed beside my sleeping bag.
B. My notebook which had a green cover, stayed beside my sleeping bag.
C. My notebook, which had a green cover stayed beside my sleeping bag.
D. My notebook, which had a green cover, stayed beside my sleeping bag.

Which revision correctly encloses the entire aside in parentheses?

A. Aunt Selin had packed (a spare flashlight in her bag).
B. Aunt Selin had packed a spare flashlight (a sensible precaution).
C. Aunt Selin had packed a spare flashlight (a sensible) precaution.
D. Aunt Selin (had packed a spare flashlight in her bag).

Which revision correctly uses a pair of dashes to emphasize the extra information?

A. Our smallest bag—the one with the snacks was the first bag—we opened.
B. Our smallest bag—the one with the snacks was the first bag we opened.
C. Our smallest bag—the one with the snacks—was the first bag we opened.
D. Our smallest bag the one—with the snacks—was the first bag we opened.

Sort the bracketed details. Use the context supplied with each sentence. Brackets identify the target words; they are not proposed punctuation.

Of two towels, I chose the towel [that was dry].Rafi [my cousin] offered to carry my bag.My only sleeping bag [a gift from my grandfather] stayed warm.We had several cups, so I washed the cup [that held cocoa].Of three paths, we took the path [that led to our campsite].Aunt Selin [who had packed the food] handed us our lunch.

Extra: set it off	Essential: do not set it off

Find the punctuation problem: “Our folding table (a borrowed one, stood beside the tent.” Which change fixes it while keeping parentheses around the aside?

A. Replace the comma after “one” with a closing parenthesis.
B. Replace the opening parenthesis with a dash.
C. Move the comma to follow the word “stood.”
D. Add a closing parenthesis after “tent.”

10.

The campers packed several blankets. Only the blankets inside a blue bag stayed dry. Which sentence preserves that meaning?

A. The blankets, that were inside the blue bag, stayed dry.
B. The blankets that were inside the blue bag stayed dry.
C. The blankets—which were inside the blue bag—stayed dry.
D. The blankets (which were inside the blue bag) stayed dry.

Final Diary Check

Check the boundaries of each aside. Keep punctuation paired when the main sentence continues after it.

11.

Which sentence correctly sets off both separate asides?

A. Rafi, my cousin, packed the chairs while Aunt Selin (our driver) checked the car.
B. Rafi, my cousin packed the chairs while Aunt Selin (our driver checked the car).
C. Rafi (my cousin packed the chairs) while Aunt Selin, our driver checked the car.
D. Rafi my cousin, packed the chairs while Aunt Selin our driver, checked the car.

12.

The narrator wants the final phrase to feel like an emphatic afterthought. Which revision correctly uses a dash?

A. I packed—one unexpected souvenir a page full of unfinished sketches.
B. I packed one unexpected souvenir—a page full of unfinished sketches.
C. I packed one unexpected—souvenir a page full of unfinished sketches.
D. I packed one unexpected souvenir a page—full of unfinished sketches.

13.

Underline the two draft sentences that correctly set off the complete aside. The narrator has one notebook and one camping schedule.

My notebook, a gift from Rafi stayed in my pocket.My schedule (carefully written at home) stayed folded in my bag.Rafi—usually the first to finish packing—waited beside the car.Aunt Selin (our driver checked the equipment) before we left.

14.

Revise this draft using commas, parentheses, or dashes to set off the extra information: “My camping schedule a neatly printed page stayed folded in my pocket.” Then explain why the detail should be set off and why your revision needs two punctuation marks.